'Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; though I'm not sure about the universe'. ...... Albert Einstein
I've been 'Away' for a week on non-Poor Circulation business, .... a week of general laziness and motorcycle mayhem. But I'm back now and raring to snooze. It's also confession time, ... of a kind. In previous posts I have variously maligned my esteemed colleague Mr Alan Kelly for not having a Passport, not having a Modern Driving Licence and for some seemingly analesque attention to details. I've since discovered that Alan did actually own a valid passport and had recently become the proud owner of a 'Two Part UK Driving License'. For those two errors, I most humbly apologise. As for his anal attention to detail, I stand by my previous comments, ... whilst replacing the word 'Anal' and inserting the word 'Thankful'. In my glorious ignorance of the facts, I found it hard to understand Alan's distinct lack of clearly important documents alongside his constant referrals to what I always consider to be 'small print' and 'minutiae', often referred to as 'Garnish'. Now, I understand that it was simply a result of his well ordered mind. For Alan, in order for our grand plan to ride around the world to have any chance of success, everything must have a precise place within an extensive list of essential processes to be followed. Thankfully for Poor Circulation, ..... in respect to planning, Alan is my identical opposite.
Back in January I bought my Poor Circulation bike from a gentleman in Yorkshire. I could have serviced it, I could have cleaned it, I could have filed the documents, I could have fitted protection bars, .... but alas I did none of these sensible things. The Triumph felt right, everything worked, it was street legal and cleaner than any bike that I had previously owned and so I did the natural 'Courier Thing', ... I just got on with riding it. Alan telephoned this morning and asked me to check that my ownership document was the latest version 'V5C/2'. Apparently this latest V5 is acceptable in all of the countries that we intend to visit and that having different versions of ownership documents for similar bikes might confuse some border authorities. (Now that is amazing 'Attention to Detail'). I agreed to check my V5 and promised to get back to him. A quick rummage through my now scant possessions, followed by a swift telephone call to the previous owner and I am now in panic mode, .... 'Code Red'. Ordinarily with my 'Despatch Bikes', if a previous owner fails to transfer 'Ownership' of the bike, I am quite happy for him/her to continue receiving my parking and traffic violations until such at time as the correct documents are in place. However, with just 6 weeks until our departure date, the DVLA inform me that as the previous owner failed to send the transfer documents back to them in January, ..... it will be a further 6 weeks before any V5 is issued. Until that time, I can prove 'Ownership' in order to pay road tax on the bike, ........ but getting the bike into Europe and across Russia could prove to be slightly more challenging. I haven't told him yet, .. but as Alan is one of the three readers of this Blog, I suspect that he will soon be in possession of all relevant facts.
To soften what I expect to be a highly painful blow from Mr Kelly, I have spent this afternoon recreating Touratech Luggage using tried and tested Blue Peter techniques. I figure that if I can demonstrate a way of making our Tigers look a little more 'Long Way Round' and a lot less 'Lost and Found', for no money, ...... then I can deflect some of his punches with amazing gifts of faux-Touratech bling. (Alan is from Essex). So far, using various cheap versions of Tupperware and two large roasting trays from Pound Stretcher, some 'Acquired' aluminium sheet and a handy rivet gun of unknown origins, I've created two water carriers, two sump guards, two desert stand plates and a pair of forward mounted tool carriers; Patents Pending. It's safe to say that they still require a little refinement, ..... but hey, .. Scunthorpe wasn't built in a day.
I've just this second taken a telephone call from the vendor of my Tiger. He has mailed the V5 transfer document to Swansea this evening, ...... fingers crossed.