Post: 14 'Navigation for Beginners and Dyslexics'

'And today's subliminal message is

By my calculations we have 8 weeks until the departure date of 23rd April 2008. As you can imagine, Poor Circulation HQ is a hive of activity, though not much of this activity is actually 'Trip' related. So many people have done this journey before us that all of the information that we could possibly need is already out there. The only skill is in deciding which information is accurate, ...... and which is total fabrication. (Not unlike reading this Blog really) We still have lots of things that we need to do, .... but the order in which we do them depends on what 'Free Products' arrive at our door. Once we know what we don't have, .. we can distribute our substantial budget accordingly. Until then, ... we're just cocking about, trying to look busy and spending as little of our precious money as possible. Our latest dodgy acquisition is a Sony DVD Camcorder with lots of buttons and a rather large instruction book. As our designated Technical Officer, Alan will no doubt be inducting me in the skills of movie making over the coming days. All I have to do it charge the battery and buy some 8cm DVD's. With a little luck, we should be able to have some video footage on here within the next few week, ...... or so.

So far I've left Alan to do most of the worrying whilst I've concentrated on the happier elements of Poor Circulation. It's quite easy for me really,.... I discover a problem, .. I tell Alan about it and it then magically becomes his problem and no longer mine. I guess it's still a 'Problem', but so long as it vanishes for a few days I'm happy with that. Apart from our lack of budget: we are currently about £2,000 short of half of what we need, which is about as good as it's going to get, so there's little point in worrying about it. My only other concern is that we get hopelessly lost along the way. It's not that getting lost is a big problem, we'll always find the right road eventually ... for me it's more of an 'ego' thing. Sometimes arrogance and cockiness can be mistaken for what is actually self-confidence, ..... except in my case, ... 'Cocky' is much closer to the truth. As a courier I just hate the idea of getting lost, so much so that I've spent many hours with my head buried in our massive map of Russia. Now, I'm a 'proper dyslexic', I find it hard to differentiate between certain letters unless they form words that I can immediately recognise. In English this is quite easy to overcome, ...... but trying to come to terms with the Cyrillic alphabet is pretty much a total non-starter. To compensate for this I've tried to memorise both the 'Map' and the 'Look' of the names of the towns and cities along our route. I know how to use a compass and so combining these two skills, ..... we should be able to navigate to Vladivostok without too many headaches. If the 'Map' is an accurate reflection of the road system/topography and the compass remains in working order, .... then the only possible variable is our interpretation of the two, ... simple. At the end of the day, even though we are men, we could always stop and ask for directions. Between us we are fluent in the universal languages of Geordie and Estuary, .... so we shouldn't have too many linguistics problems.

However, today I've been reliably informed that at a point in time between now and 2012, the Magnetic North and South Poles will change ends. I'm not sure if this means that I've got to listen out for a 'half-time whistle', but my informant; an expert physicist driving a blue and white van in London E14, was insistent that this event would happen. As my eager informant looked to be more of an expert in domestic fluid dynamics than a rival for the chair of Stephen Hawkins, I took this devastating information with a huge pinch of salt. Anyway, for reasons of fiscal prudence, we're using Map and Compass as opposed to Satnav, so I guess if 'Pole Reversal' does happen in 2008, ... we simply write a new 'N' and 'S' in green crayon on the plastic dome of the £4.99 compass, .... problem solved.

Hey, .... I'm a bloke,... of course I checked out what Plumber Boy had told me. Tonight, after my third or forth beer I visited the font of all wisdom, the reliable sayer of truths that is Wikipedia.

'A geomagnetic reversal is a change in the orientation of the Earth's magnetic field such that the positions of magnetic North and magnetic South become interchanged. The last geomagnetic reversal was the Brunhes-Matuyama Reversal approximately 780,000 years ago'.

I figure that if 'Geomagnetic Reversal' raises its ugly head while we're crossing Russia, ..... then after 780,000 years of waiting, ... that's got to be the crappiest stroke of luck I've ever encountered. On the other hand,... it's got to be the best excuse yet for getting a little lost on route. So, for a third and final opinion on the matter, I went to You Tube. Thoughtfully, several people had posted videos to explain the meaning of Pole Reversal. Let me just say that if you believe JFK was killed by anybody other than Lee Harvey Oswald, ... or that Diana Princess of Wales was killed by anybody other than a drunken french bloke with a striking resemblance to Hercule Poirot, .... then on the subject of 'Geomagnetic Reversal', stay well clear of You Tube. The only real fact that I have discovered is that for every subject or event, there is somebody out there who is willing to scare the living daylights out of you for no apparent reason. Oh, ... and maybe you also want to avoid putting anything in your diary beyond 21st December 2012.

I honestly can't believe that there are so many people with so much time and so few friends that they dedicate their lives to spreading this kind of tosh. Hey, ... Life isn't always easy, ... get over it. Besides, ... if I thought that the end of the world was so imminent, ...... I'd find something a heck of a lot better to do with my time than discussing potential theoretical endings. In fact, ... I'd probably bugger off around the world on a motorbike.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

www.poor-circulation.net