Post 265: Return of Dakar Duck

Last weeks arranged talk at the BMW Owners Group in Sussex was cancelled .... snow stopped play. Then, as the snow finally cleared and the roads once more became safe for bikes, I succumbed to a very serious case of Tiger-Flu. “H1-N955“, it’s quite similar to Swine-Flu ... but just a little more snotty.

Housebound with a lethal and highly contagious illness, I’ve used the time to clear out my unwanted junk and brush up on my diminishing language skills. It’s quite amazing, but when I arrived at my current address, I had a loaded motorbike and two world-weary suitcases .... the sum total of my worldly goods. I’ve just spent the last two days clearing out crap and I‘ve still got far more than I arrived with. if only I could do the same thing with money. Where the hell did it all come from? And, when I refer to it as ‘carp’ I really do mean ‘crap’. In the past 12-months it seems that I haven't thrown anything away. I’ve turned into my Dad .... I‘m a bloody magpie. Thankfully, I’ve been able to arrange storage for the things that I want to keep, and hopefully this time they’ll be in a place that’s slightly less flammable than Sailing Grove proved to be.

One item that I need to take with me is as I write, working it’s way across London. ‘Dakar Duck’ will once again be joining me. ‘Milk’s‘, his permanent keeper, is despatching him by special courier and he’ll wallow in my hand-luggage until I can attach him to the mighty Minsk in Hanoi. It’ll be good to see him again, share a few beers, recall some happy memories and generally catch-up with what each of us has been doing.

This week I’ll hopefully sort out my visas, start planning a more detailed route and no doubt begin realising just how woefully unprepared I am. As for my language skills, well ….. Pom rian-nang-seu Thai, poot mai ngaan-kian. Pom bpen-jao-kong aa-jaan Tassaneeya, gap Internet ‘thai2english.com‘. Gaan-pat-at-naa chaa, pom giat seuk-saa. .... That might look quite impressive, but only if you don’t speak Thai. If you’ve ever opened one of those ’Dearest Friend’ eMail requests from a Nigerian Brigadier General with an unreasonably large charitable donation … 'same same' my Thai.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

What it should say: I’m learning Thai, spoken not written. I have a great teacher in Tassaneeya, together with the Internet site ’thai2english’. Progress is slow, but only because I’m an idle student.

Post 264: Asian Preparations

We’re one week into 2010 and for the last five days, the Tiger hasn’t moved an inch. The main roads are clear of snow, but getting to them on a bike like the Tiger just isn‘t going to happen. OK, it's probably got a lot more to do with me being a knob than the Tiger being unsuitable, but even if I did have the balls to ride it in the snow, those balls would be resting a few inches higher if I ever had to pick it up after a fall. Even if I was brave enough to do it, I’m no longer a fan of riding in crappy weather and to be honest, I’ve given up any thoughts of being back on 2-wheels until I’m out in SE Asia.

I’ve managed to track down a selection of previously enjoyed Minsk’s in Hanoi’s Old Quarter and so getting hold of one shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I’ll probably end up paying around £250.00 for a working example with official papers, which sounds like a bit of a bargain. However, at around 7,500,000 VND (seven and a half milion Vietnamese Dong) it really sounds quite expensive. At least when I arrive in Vietnam, I'll feel like a millionaire for a few days. After the journey, if I sell the Minsk in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) rather than Hanoi, then I’ll get most of my money back, probably in a wheelbarrow. It’s a question of ’Supply and Demand’. Most of the Minsk’s are located in the North, but the people in the South are developing a taste for something that’s a little bit different to the break-back Honda’s and Yamaha Fino’s that they usually ride. On the other hand, I could always try and ride the Minsk back to Blighty?

In terms of preparation, my body and mind are still a few weeks behind the paperwork, but I’m doing my best to catch up. It’ not easy, but I’ve set myself a gruelling regime of physical and mental exercises. Physically, on January 1st I stopped drinking my usual pints of beer and to be honest, it hasn’t been as difficult as I’d imagined. In the more remote parts of SE Asia, draught beer is quite scarce and to account for this, I’ve had to acclimatise to drinking my beer from bottles. Bottles tend to be smaller and while making double the number of visits to the bar is really quite tedious, the extra exercise avoids any real need to start jogging.

In order to train my mind, I’m doing all of the obvious things like refusing to do anything on-time and asking for discounts in the supermarket. No success in Tesco yet, but I’m working on my technique. When I go to the Post Office or Bank and they ask me "What can we help you with today?", my new response is "Up to you". This seems to confuse the crap out of them, but if anybody has ever spent more than a few weeks in SE Asia, then they’ll know exactly why I‘m doing it. Logic stands on it’s head and there’s absolutely no point in fighting against it. I’ve just got to get used to going with the flow … ’mai pen rai’.

On the Vietnamese Embassy website, it states that as the price of visas is constantly changing, I should telephone the Embassy for the current visa price before writing the cheque and mailing my application. When telephoning the Vietnamese Embassy, they of course refer me back to the website. In the end, I might have to drag the Tiger from it's snowy nest and ride into London rather than just using the mail. It's a not so merry merry-go-round but it's probably just a sign of things to come ... 'mai pen rai'.

Talking about the Post Office, or more precisely ’Royal Mail’, why is it that Estate Agents and Fitness Centres can slide massive brochures effortlessly through my letterbox, but if it’s anything larger than a postcard, the Royal Mail claim that it’s oversized and ask me to collect it from the bloody Post Office? Continuing with this little rant, ‘Parcel Force’ really ought to change their name to ‘Postcard Farce‘. I’m beginning to think that they don’t really deliver parcels. They probably don't even have any delivery vans, just an army of kid’s who ride around on bicycles silently delivering ’Sorry you were out’ cards while you're obviously 'In'. I’ve never spent as much time in the Post Office as I have done in the past two weeks. Unfortunately, my local Post Office isn’t quite as ‘local’ as it used to be and it’s quite a long walk to get there. This is probably quite good for my fitness regime, but while waiting in the inevitable queues, I’ve learned far more than I’ll ever need to know about Winter Fuel Payments, WRVS Menus and Bunions. If the Post Office employed a loyalty card system then I’d be swimming in an ocean of points. But they don’t, ...... so I’m not .... 'mai pen rai'

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 263: Minnie The Minsk

Well .... a Happy New Year to everyone. We're into January and the bureaucratic travel game has begun. Officially speaking, for the next journey, Vietnam is the only country where I need to obtain a visa before I arrive there. I'd initially thought that like Thailand, Laos and Cambodia, I'd just rely upon my good fortune of being British and receive my visa on arrival at the airport in Hanoi. Sadly, I hadn't read the 'small print' and in December discovered that in order to qualify for 'Visa on Arrival', you actually have to apply in advance. Oh ... is that really 'Visa on Arrival?'

Not a problem, I'll apply for my 90 day multiple entry visa in London and everything will be rosy. But, I'm not sure of the dates that I'll be there and I have to specify them on the application form. Unfortunately, the visa will start ticking as soon as it reaches the specified 'Entry Date' whether I'm in Vietnam or not. So, to be on the safe side, I'll apply for a 180 day multiple entry visa instead. Problem solved.

So I'll fly to Thailand, collect everything that I need for the journey and then travel on to Hanoi, buy the Minsk and begin. Oh, another problem. Thailand might let me into their amazing country, but none of the Airlines will fly me there. Unfortunately I've got a very short memory. In 2008, China Airlines refused to fly me to the USA because I didn't have an onwards ticket or an existing visa to enter America. I've now got the same problem with Thailand. I'd initially decided on a one-way ticket. Not because I'm not coming back, though that would be nice, but because I've no idea exactly when I'll be coming back. So, I now need either a visa for Thailand, or a return ticket with a home leg that will never be used. I'm still holding out for a free ticket from my favourite airline and so decided that the visa was the best way to proceed.

Normally when a UK Citizen arrives at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok, you receive a 30 Day Tourist Visa when you pass through immigration control. That's fine, but in January 2009 they changed the rules for crossing land borders. When crossing into Thailand via a land border, you now only receive a 14 Day Tourist Visa. Unfortunately, when I ride the Minsk from Cambodia into Thailand, I'll need an awful lot more than 14 Days. So, I'll have to apply for a Thai visa that I'll use for that particular crossing. That's fine, but it doesn't really help me to get into Thailand in the first place. So, if I've already got a perfectly good 90 Day Thai visa sitting in my passport when I first arrive in Bangkok, will they still give me the usual 30 Day Tourist Visa on Arrival? Normally it wouldn't matter because 90 Days is ample, but once I exit Thailand for the first time, the Thai visa will automatically expire.

These are not 'Huge Problems', especially when you consider the hurdles that a Thai National has to leap over in order to obtain a simple Tourist Visa into Blighty, but it's still a pain the arse to arrange. On the other hand, at least I'm not returning to work behind a desk at the end of the Christmas holidays, so I'm not bloody complaining. As things stand, I'm hoping to receive a return 'London-Bangkok-London' ticket from the Airline, with a return date that can be easily changed. Of course, in the first instance I could have bought such a ticket and avoided the initial Thai visa problems, but such a ticket costs three times more than a cheap 'Bucket Shop' ticket that has set travel dates. So, assuming that the Airline Ticket arrives, then I'll get my free 30 Day Tourist Visa on arrival in Bangkok and then apply for my next Thai visa at the embassy in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

I'll let you know what the outcome is, but it looks like I'll be heading East at the beginning of February and returning to Blighty in May.

Happy New Year

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 262: A Productive Christmas

I can’t believe that Christmas is over already, where did it go? I’ve eaten more than I planned and drank more than is probably good for me, but I’ve also got an awful lot of work done. When the phone doesn’t ring and nobody is pulling your chain for a few days, it’s quite surprising how much you can actually get done.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been spending a lot of time arranging the upcoming tour of SE Asia. I had planned to start out in January, but it now looks as if it will get pushed back until the middle of February. It means that I’ll miss the Horizons Unlimited meeting in Chang Mai, but I’m sure that they’ll still manage to drink the City dry without me. Last week I thought that I’d bought a Minsk in Hanoi, but sadly the deal slipped through my fingers when the vendor insisted that I also purchase his knackered Honda Wave. I really hadn’t seen that one coming, but I’ve got to start putting my brain into ‘Asia Mode’. At the moment I don’t have a bike, an air ticket or a departure date, but I do have a map and a passport.

Unfortunately, I still haven’t finished writing the book. That’s actually a lie. I’ve finished writing it five or six times, but every time I finish it, I change something and it just seems to knock another chapter out of kilter. However, over the past week, I’ve changed the ‘Ashes to Boonville’ Blog and added photographs to all of the existing chapters. I’ve also added another five chapters which takes the journey up to Turkey. The published chapters are abridged and I’ve bypassed around half of the countries, but hopefully it still makes sense. Before I head out to Vietnam, I’ll hopefully have that Blog completed and the book will be with the publishers.

I’m giving another ‘Talk’ on January 10th down at Rake in West Sussex. It’s at the invitation of the BMW Riders Club and I just hope that they know what they’re letting themselves in for. It’s safe to say that while I’m not a particular fan of ‘Triumph’, my comments about BMW GS’s are generally unprintable. Of course, they’ll understand that’s just a simple case of jealousy and I should at least escape with my life. However, if this Blog goes suspiciously quiet after January 10th, then you’ll know the reason why.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 261: Winter Wonderland

Great Britain has been caught-out by unexpected Winter snow and according to the BBC, the nation has ground to an embarrassing halt. The usual crowd of high-volume idiots are already calling it a ’ National Disgrace’, but the majority of us pragmatists are just enjoying the slightly slower pace of life that snow inevitably brings with it. On the BBC News, they interviewed a young lad as he played with his mates in the snow. “I went to school this morning and there was a sign outside saying - ‘SORRY SCHOOL CLOSED‘ - but we‘re not SORRY“. Maybe they should make that young lad Director General of the BBC before society has a chance to beat the fun out of him.

I then got an unexpected call from a distant colleague who was trying to write a short piece for one of the slightly less independent bike magazines. After a few minutes of conversation, I gathered that he wasn’t really writing an article, but rather that he wanted me to write it while he went outside to put the finishing touches to the Office Snowman. I can’t blame him for trying, but as he was getting paid and I wasn’t, I decided to be as honest as possible.

He was trying to put together a short page filler about riding in the snow but was struggling to find any riders who were able or willing to contribute. The piece was to be directed as novice riders and should give them practical advice about coping with the dangers of riding road bikes in the snow. No doubt keen to join his snowman building colleagues outside in the office car park, he asked me to email my thoughts and then he was gone. Fair enough.

“When attempting to ride a road bike in the snow, there is only one important rule to remember. That rule is the rule of Give and Take. Give the bike a rest, Take the bus“. It’s not exactly what he wanted, but if he didn’t want my advice then he shouldn’t have bloody well asked for it. He’d struggled to find any experienced road riders who could advise him on the best techniques for riding in snow, and that wasn’t really surprising. Experienced riders adopt the rule of Give and Take, because when riding in snow there is only one certainty. You will inevitably fall off and no matter how experienced a rider you are, the density of the objects that you hit will simply depend on your luck.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 260: Christmas is coming .....

Yes, Christmas is coming. Not the ‘Festive Season’ and certainly not the ‘Holidays’, just good old fashioned Christmas. I’m not a Christian but I really don’t get upset if anybody wishes me a ‘Happy Christmas‘. Nor for that matter would any of the Muslims, Jews, Sikhs or Buddhists that I know. If I wish Muslim friends ‘eid mubarak’, even though I’m not Muslim myself, they don’t get bent out of shape about it and the same would be true if I sent them a Christmas card with a Christian prayer inside of it. In fact, they’d probably be chuffed to bits that I was taking the time to include them. It seems that the only people who take offence at the mention of Christmas, are Christian’s who have somehow advanced into bureaucratic positions that are far higher than their IQ’s should allow. They seem to perceive that ‘Christmas’ is offences to other religions and instead of inviting everybody to join in the celebrations, they try to sweep it under the carpet and end up hacking everybody off. So, if somebody wishes you ’Happy Holidays’ or sends you a politically correct corporate card, then please return it to sender and tell them to get a life.

Talking of perception - sort of - I recently changed my Facebook picture for Children in Need. I normally use a photograph of my face in my normal crash helmet, but I changed the helmet to yellow and had a spotted bandana running diagonally across it. An email asked me if I’d used special paint that wouldn’t affect the integrity of the helmet and if I’d used special one-way coloured film for the bandana? The answer is almost ’Yes’. The special paint that I used was eco-friendly MS Paintbrush and no helmets were harmed in the making of that photograph.

Anyway, I’ve done all of my Christmas shopping, one present for Hannah and a donation to charity that’s equal to all of the other crappy presents that I would probably have bought for everybody else if I‘d had the time. It’s an easy solution, nobody ever asks for a receipt and hopefully everybody feels a little bit better because of it.

Happy Christmas

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 259: It's a mad world .. so buy your new bike now

The world has lost the remainder of it’s marbles and everything has been turned on it‘s head. We have a new President of Europe, Mr Herman Van Rompuy. Apparently he’s the Prime Minister of Belgium but until now, I and millions of other Europeans had never heard of him. In a game of political ‘Top Trumps‘, Van Rompuy would probably be the one crappy card that nobody wants but like it or not, we’ve all got him now. Personally I don’t really mind because his name alone will make comedy shows more interesting and if the alternative was Tony Blair, then it’s got to be much better news than it might have been. Every comedy character worthy of the sketch writers ink deserves a suitable sidekick and Herman Van Rompuy has been given Lady Cathy Ashton as his Foreign Minister. Yes, I’ve never heard of her either. Apparently a late runner for the post of EU Foreign Minister was our very own Lord Peter Mandelson, he of Hartlepool and Foy, First Secretary of State, Lord President of the Council, Secretary of State for Business Innovation & Skills, Prince of Darkness and sometime lapdog to Saif al-Islam Gaddafi. We should therefore count our blessings that Lady Ashton was shoe-horned into the post because without Lord Mandelson’s selfless efforts here at home, who knows where we might have been. New Labour love league tables and ever since Gordon jumped into the metaphorical bed with Peter, we’ve rocketed to the top of all of them. Highest debt per capita #1. Highest debt as a percentage of GDP #1. Longest recession of any major economy #1. For a British performance in Europe they’re mighty impressive results in all categories, especially when you consider that we didn‘t even go to a penalty shoot-out in any of them.

In a plan to make us Brit’s feel a little better about our own fiscal furrow, Dubai World this week announced that is was delaying repayments on £36 billion of debt for a period of six months. On the face of it, a seemingly oil-rich Emirate suffering along with the rest of us shouldn’t really be any great cause for concern, but it is. Dubai is not oil-rich and the debt of Government owned Dubai World is really Sovereign Debt and not Corporate Debt. International money markets instantly lost confidence in Dubai’s ability to service it’s debts on a long term basis and a vast quantity of manure hit the Emirates air conditioning unit. Thankfully, it seems that it’s oil-rich neighbour Abu Dhabi has stepped up to the plate and quite possibly saved Dubai’s artificial bacon. The measure of Dubai’s fiscal fall from grace is quite staggering and it’s credit worthiness has dropped to below that of Iceland when it teetered on the brink of bankruptcy. You’re probably still not shedding any tears, but if you consider that Dubai’s debt is a mere innocent kiss in comparison to the full blown orgy of Britain’s Sovereign debt, then there may indeed be trouble ahead for Blighty. By the time of the general election in 2010, Britain’s ‘official debt’ will exceed one trillion pounds, that’s one thousand thousand million pounds - £1,000,000,000,000.00. If the Government were honest with us and added in the hidden liabilities, then that figure can easily be doubled and I have no idea if that includes the billions of pounds that were printed during the process of quantitative easing. Assuming that as a Nation we don’t borrow any more money, and it’s unlikely that anybody has any left to lend us, then for every individual UK tax payer, the Government will be carrying approximately £35,000.00 of debt. If as in the case of Iceland and Dubai, the international money markets lose confidence in Britain’s willingness to reduce this unsustainable level of debt, then the interest that we pay will dramatically increase and the value of Stirling will crash like the proverbial lead balloon. Despite what our smiley politicians might tell us today, come June of 2010, they’ll look more closely at the books, blame somebody else for the fiscal failure and kick each and every one of us sharply in the nuts. It’s going to hurt and nobody will be immune from the fallout.

The good news is that if structured in our favour, a fall in the value of Stirling could effectively decrease the level of our debts, but the bad news is that this will lead to stagflation. A stagnant economy with hyper-inflation along a very long tunnel with precious little light at the end of it. So, if you’re going to buy a new bike, then I’d advise that you do it now. If Stirling crashes and the real price of imported goods rockets, then next year you won’t be able to afford it and your existing bike might not be exciting enough to take your mind away from the economic doom and gloom. While you’re buying your new bike, I’d also think about hanging onto your existing one. The dealer will probably only offer you a token of what it’s worth, but if the economy does take a further tumble in 2010, then the value of clean and desirable previously enjoyed models should be an awful lot stronger than they are now. I might be wrong, and I hope that I am, but if anybody needs an extra excuse to buy a new bike, then I'm happy to help.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 258: KTM Adventure 990

A bike with this many faults should leave me with an overwhelming feeling of disappointment, but it doesn't. This is the KTM 990 Adventure and the first thing that you'll notice is just how fast it likes to travel. The second thing that you'll probably notice is the fact that the brakes are really quite rubbish. Saying that they're 'Quite Rubbish' is actually being kind, but I get into trouble for writing words like 'Shit' and 'Crap'.

A fast bike with rubbish brakes should be enough to make any sensible rider walk away, but before I get onto the finer points of the KTM 990 Adventure, here are a few more flies for the automotive ointment. The headlight is poor, the throttle and fuel mapping sucks, the seat is apparently hewn from solid granite and the foot of the side stand sinks straight into anything that's slightly less stable than cold tarmac. On the face of it, that sounds like more flies than ointment, but when the ointment is pure snake oil, it becomes very easy to ignore the flies.

To be honest, I can't really say 'Why' the KTM 990 Adventure is so good, it just is. The engine is overflowing with grunt and the standard exhaust system sounds like James Earl Jones gargling with treacle. On fast 'A' roads the front and rear WP suspension makes you feel like you're riding a focused sportsbike, but jump onto the rough stuff and the same bike suddenly feels like a full-on enduro. I have no idea how KTM have achieved this amazing cross-over, but I'm ever so thankful that they have. A bike that can be so good on both 'A' roads and 'No' roads, should absolutely stink on the motorways, but yet again it doesn't. The seemingly tiny screen deflects the wind away from everywhere but your shoulders and the seat that I criticised earlier, is actually quite accommodating on long hauls. If it was legal in this country, then all day three-figure cruising speeds on the KTM would be an absolute joy. On smooth paved roads it lacks the refinement of BMW's 1200 GS Adventure, but in place of that refinement KTM have given it a beautiful sprinkling of fun-dust. As a bike, the KTM insists that you become actively involved in every process while the BMW seems to delegate many of those functions to it's on-board butler. Simon 'The Locksmith' French, was kind enough to join me on his shiny new BMW 1200 GS Adventure for an afternoon of fun around Finchingfield in Essex. It was an opportunity for us to ride both 'Adventures' together and of course, there were two apposing verdicts. Neither bike was 'Better', but they are just so totally different. Personally I'd go for the fun-factor every time, but then I still haven't really grown up. The BMW is a proper bike for adults, but the KTM just keeps reminding me why I love bikes.

I'll stop there before I run out of things to write in the magazine. However, given the choice between my Triumph Tiger and the KTM to ride around the world, the experience would have been far richer and much more fun aboard the KTM.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 257: Romania? ... Thank you very much

I was reading through issue 143 of The Riders Digest and on page 85, came across something quite unusual. It was a full page advertisement for an accident claims management company that specialises in claims resulting from motorcycle accidents. Nothing really unusual about that you might think, and you'd be absolutely right, but this one was slightly different. The photograph used in the advertisement showed a biker entering a bend aboard a BMW K1300R along with the question .... 'HAD A MOTORBIKE ACCIDENT?'

The photograph was actually one taken of 'Me', and thankfully my answer to the question was 'No'. Ironically when it comes to motorbikes my only notable talent is for not crashing, but once I'd discovered the reason for my photograph appearing in the advertisement, I really wasn't bothered. It hadn't been used as an example of an accident waiting to happen, it was just a 'Stock Photograph' that the publisher had used in order to meet a fast approaching print deadline. I went about my life and thought nothing more about it until I received an email from TRD. Would I like to go on a two-week tour of Romania? After quickly establishing what the cost of such an adventure would be, which was thankfully nothing, I could only agree.

So in June 2010, I'll be riding around Transylvania for a couple of weeks on a BMW 650GS as a guest of the Romanian Tourist Authority. Aside form the obvious, I really don't know very much about Romania and so I'll need to do a little reading on the Internet. It's a hard old life.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post 256: Welcome to my World

Last week I posted a message on Facebook and the conversation somehow turned to one about dyslexia. Trying to describe dyslexia to a person who isn’t dyslexic, is probably like trying to describe a rainbow to somebody who’s colour blind. Dyslexia comes in many shapes and sizes and I guess that many people, including myself when I was first diagnosed, think that dyslexia is nothing more than a posh excuse for crap spelling and general idleness. In some cases that’s possibly true, but as far as my own dyslexia’s concerned, I’ll try to explain it here.

Kemerovo ..... 324
Irkutsk .......... 1820
Chita ............ 2933

From this photograph, unless you happen to be familiar with the Cyrillic Alphabet, then you probably wouldn’t recognise the place names. I know what the Cyrillic words say, not because I’ve learned that particular alphabet, but because I’ve memorised the pattern of each word and related those patterns to a corresponding sound in my head. However, you could reverse any one of the individual letters in any of those names, and I probably wouldn’t notice the change. I’d still see the word in exactly the same form and wrongly recognise them as still being correct. It’s a little like when a child first leans to write and ’b’ & ’d’ or ’p’ and ’q’ or even ’6’ and ’9’ become confused. The good news is that over time 90% of kid’s will learn to use each one correctly, but 10% of us never do. Weclome to the world of dyslexia.

That’s a perfect accidental example. My spelling of the word ’Welcome’ above is incorrect and I only know that because as I finished typing it, a helpful red line appeared directly below it. When I read the word back in my mind, it looks to be correct and I can‘t really see what I‘ve done wrong. I honestly do know how to spell the word ’Welcome’, but clearly I’ve written it incorrectly. Whatever dyslexia is, it can’t be cured but you can at least learn how to identify and cure the mistakes.

Quickly look at the number that I’ve written below, and then ’say’ the number out loud as if it were a lottery jackpot in terms of pounds and pence:

£1400470003

Without the help of numeric punctuation , and . I guess that it’s not that easy to hit the correct answer on the first attempt. Any dyslexics that are reading this will probably have to physically transfer the numbers onto paper, add the punctuation marks and then work backwards to find the answer. There’s nothing wrong with our eyesight, but we seem to interpret visual information differently to normal readers. The answer is fourteen million, four thousand seven hundred pounds, and three pence, which when written as £14,004,700.03 is quite easy to recognise. As a dyslexic, I interpret ’words’ with the same difficulty that you might interpret the ’£1400470003’ without the punctuation. Eventually we’ll all reach the correct solution, but it just takes us dyslexics a little bit longer to get there.

www.justigiving.com/geoffgthomas