Post 197: Winter Camping, Squires Milk Bar, UK

After four days away from the keyboard I've found the Internet and opened my emails to receive a serious ear bashing from my Brother Alan in California. I'm apparently in the dog house for not updating the Blog for four days, ..... shame on me. He's worried about people thinking that the Blog is coming to an end, ... that the last few miles of Poor Circulation are upon us and that people will drift away. Well, .... unfortunately none of you will get off quite that lightly, ..... plans are already being made for 2009 & 2010. 'Poor Circulation Round The World' will be completed on Sunday 16th November at the Ace Cafe, 10:30am, (your all welcome to come along, Alan and I would love to meet you) ..... but this is just 'Part 1'. The hot news that I've received after an appearance on BBC Radio Essex has convinced me that 'Poor Circulation ****' and 'Poor Circulation ********' are more than probable. I'll keep updating the Blog, ... even if I'm not revealing any details of the next adventure for the next couple of weeks, .... my life is usually not without incident and lets face it, ..... I do enough cocking about on motorbikes to keep things at least a little bit interesting.

Anyway, .... the reason for my four days of silence is that I've been away enjoying a few days of Winter Camping. Technically it's Autumn and not Winter, ..... but if I'm taking criticism from a first generation Californian who considers any day requiring a sweater to be a climatic catastrophe, ..... I'm calling it Winter, .... he loves me really. So, I've just spent three nights camping, two of them spent at Squires Milk Bar in Newthorpe in Yorkshire. The team there are great, .... they provided me with free camping, kept me supplied with food and drink and last night entertained me and a few hundred other hardy souls with a live band and paws-on access to a new range of bikes courtesy of Leeds Harley Davidson. It was a really good evening but as the hardy folks of Yorkshire made there way home to WiFi, warm beds and central heating, .... I slid my way to the rear of the pub and into my new tent. It was cold, ..... in fact it was bloody cold, .... but thankfully the last few weeks in America had prepared me for cold camping, .... I'd learned some very valuable lessons.

Firstly, .... the secret to a warm and comfortable night under canvas is to arrange your bedding carefully. Firstly take the 'Big Greeta' air mattress, place the 'Mummy' sleeping bag on top of it and slide this sandwich filling into the large ex-army 'Bivi Bag'. Don't pull the drawstrings around your head, ..... your breath will freeze on the inside and you'll end up wet. Instead, ... draw it tight around your neck and wear an insulated hat. This arrangement not only keeps you warm and dry, but it also saves you from the following days 'Bad Hair Syndrome'. In America I discovered 'Gatorade', ... what an amazing product. The drink tastes just fine and I'm sure that it's packed full of vital minerals and vitamins, .... but if your not too thirsty just pour it away. It's the bottle that you need, ... 1 Quart (32 fl oz) of wide necked plastic perfection, .. the ideal receptacle for emergency night time calls of nature. Here in Blighty, Gatorade is not readily available, .. but the 1L plastic milk bottle serves just as well. A couple of tips here for any new adventure campers reading this: 1 Never use the same type of bottle as that used for your drinking water..... and 2, Never EVER use any form of metal container, .. your eyes will definitely water. Unfortunately I can't provide any first hand advice for the female campers amongst you, ..... but I'm sure that there are numerous websites that will provide you with more information than you might possibly need on this subject, .... surf cautiously.

You might be wondering why I've chosen the above photograph for this particular post. Well, the Tiger's been drinking oil at quite a rapid rate and I'm stopping every 50 miles to check the levels and top up if necessary. Today, ..... halfway down the A1, I heard a clink and caught the movement of an object from the corner of my eye. I knew instantly what that object was, ..... I'd recently sopped and topped up the oil, .... I'd forgotten to replace the 'Dipstick', .. I'd left it sitting on the engine casing. A long walk North, ... a swift dash across the carriageway to the central reservation, ... an even faster dash back to the nearside verge and an equally long walk South and back to the bike. I'd found the black plastic dipstick in the centre of the fast lane, .... well, .... it was hardly going to be laying conveniently on the nearside kerb was it? I was back on my way South after about thirty minutes, ...... I'll eventually get around to cleaning away the oil residue from the rest of the bike, .... and my boots, .. and my tent, .. and my tripod, .... and my Bivi Bag. 'Dipstick', ... a very good word really.

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