Post: 8 'Progress at Last'

'Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress' ... Thomas Edison

For the first time it feels as if Poor Circulation is actually moving in the right direction. We met last night with another set of 'Grown Ups' at Farleigh Hospice in Chelmsford; Alan's chosen charity, .. yet more people to hold us to account. When I returned home, I replied to the offer of free passage from P&O and we now have a UK departure date of 1st May, ... Dover to Calais. We can plan the UK route given a starting point at St Teresa's in Darlington on St Georges Day, .. a trip around Scotland and Wales, .... a second departure from the Farleigh Hospice in Chelmsford followed by another at the Ace Cafe before heading off to Dover for the ferry. Somewhere in the middle of those dates, I want to try and fit in a 'Track Day' somewhere along the route (Novice Group, .. or 'Old Giffer's Day' if available).

Today, I've discovered the limitations of filtering with Triumph's standard issue hard panniers. *Memo to Self: ... Very Wide!. With an offer of 'Free Graphics Vinyl' , ... I've even managed to get the Tiger looking less 'Outspan' and more, ... well, ... more 'Tiger' I guess. (Up close it's already looking as rough as a couriers arse, so I just hope that 'Shabby' is this years black in Russia).

As I write this, I've just received an email informing me that as we wish to remain in Russia for up to 3 months, ..... we will 'Possibly' need to apply for a 'Business Visa'. This requires a 'Business Invitation' which I think I've got covered, .... but why do we 'Possibly' need a business visa and not 'Definitely?' arrrrgh. If that is the case, ..... then it means that the 'Multiple Entry' visa will get us back into Kazakhstan and Mongolia which kind of keeps us on track, .... I think.

Making plans to visit the MCN Bike Show at Excel in London on Saturday. I'm sure we'll be like kids in a candy store, ... but it's good to dream. If it's anything like previous years, .... it's not going to be a 'Fire Sale', ... but if we can pick up a few good tips and the odd free gift then it will be worth it.

Still no sign of any 'Free Fuel', ... but Hey Ho, ... we live in hope.

http://www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post: 7 'The Tiger is Caught'

'Time is like money, ..... the less we have of it the further we make it go' ..... Josh Billings

Time and Money were in amazingly short supply, .... though I don't think it's fair to blame China for these particular scarcities. Before Christmas the small-ads had been filled with second had Triumph Tigers for sale at bargain prices. Now, ...... they were a very rare species indeed.

Come January, Ebay, MCN and Bike Trader, .. all had Tigers for sale, but they were either cheap old 'Spoke Models' or over priced newer 'Cast Wheel' versions. I didn't want old spoke wheels as repairing punctures in inner tubes is a total pain in the arse. With the cast wheel you get tubeless tyres that can be 'Plugged' at the side of the road in a matter of seconds. (Why do I feel that this statement is going to return and haunt me?)

The budget was tight and I really had nothing left to sell. I made 'Bids' on Ebay only to see the sale prices of suitable Tigers double in the final two minutes of the auction. Conclusion: Ebay is Evil.

Then eventually it happened. I found a suitable bike, .... I employed 'Bid Assistant', .. hit 'Send' and waited, .. and waited, .. and waited. I won the auction, .... about £500 more than I had budgeted, .. but at least I had a bike for Poor Circulation. I had 7 days in which to Pay from and Collect the bike from South Yorkshire, .... which gave me almost a week to find some money. Suffice to say,.. my teeth are now totally devoid of skin, ..... and Alan Kelly was kind enough to lend me £10 for fuel in order to ride the Tiger home, ..... I kid you not, ... it was that tight.

So there we have it, ..... this Blog for Poor Circulation is now 'Up to Date'. We have 2 Triumph Tigers, ..... though I really need to do something about the 'Orangeness' of mine, .... it's more of a 'Chav with a fake-bake' than a 'Tiger', ... and that simply has to change.

Breaking News: P&O Ferries, .. 'The Worlds Favourite Ferry Company' is so keen to get Alan and myself out of this country, ..... that they have agreed to Ship the whole Poor Circulation package to Calais, ... For Free ... Result. So please, ...... if you ever feel the need to sail away from these shores, or to crusie in warmer waters ... then Only Ever Use 'P&O', ........ anything else would be a 'Compromise' too far.

http://www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post: 6 'No Turning Back'

'Do Be Do Be Do'. ..... Sinatra

Lets be honest, .... Poor Circulation is an act of pure self indulgence. It's something that in one form or another, I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember and as such, .... it is also something that I could so easily postpone if things became 'Complicated', ... or if it turned out 'Wet' on departure day. We had a list of jobs as long as my Visa Statement and we were employing the principle of: 'The sooner we get behind, .. the longer we have to catch up'.

At the outset I'd decided to try and raise some money for charity, ... or at least a good cause. It's not that I'm 'Altruistic', .. for me Charity has always begun at home, ... and more often than not, .. that is exactly where it has stayed. I hoped that doing something for 'Others' would somehow reduce my own guilt about buggering off around the world and leaving my responsibilities behind in a 'Big Yellow' storage box.

So, .... Poor Circulation would at least doff its cap towards raising some money for charity, ..... and the choice of charity was really quite easy, ..... or so I thought. Logic (IE: Availability of 'Free Stuff'), suggested that an 'International' or at the very least 'National' charity would have greater appeal. But to be honest the only major charitable association connected with my family is 'St Teresa's Hospice' in Darlington. If you don't know what a Hospice actually does for those who require their Services, ....... then in the nicest possible way, .... I hope that you never need to discover first hand.

Once I had met with St Teresa's and committed to raise money on their behalf, ....... there was simply no turning back. 'Selfish' & 'Irresponsible' are words that sit quite easily on my not so broad shoulders, ..... but I came out of a meeting with the Hospice Directors feeling like a proper 'Grown-Up', ... wow. A great feeling, ..... but bollocks, .... that was it, .... no other choice but to do it. Other people were now counting on Poor Circulation to stop all of the bullshit and actually do something constructive, ....... time to catch me a Triumph Tiger.

http://www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post: 5 'The 4th Estate'

'Some Editors are failed Writers, ..... but so are most Writers'. .... T.S. Eliot

Thankfully Dave Gurman and John Newman, Editor and Publisher respectively of 'The Riders Digest' are neither of the above. Over the years they have humoured me by publishing several of my ramblings in one of the few truly 'Independent' Bike Magazines still available in the UK. Trust me, .... I have written lots and published little, ... always working on the theory of 'Monkeys, Typewriters and the works of Shakespeare', .... I had to have some success.

I met up with Dave and John at the Riders Digest Christmas party, which as 'Good Publishers', .... was held back in October. (Ever wondered why the April copy of 'Bike Magazine' goes on sale at the end of February?). We talked about Poor Circulation and decided that if it was going to happen, we needed to start making plans, so we got Drunk, ..... forgot everything we had discussed, ..... and that was the end of it.

Fortunately, as an ex-Despatch Rider, Dave eventually remembered in January and chased me for some details. At this point, ..... Poor Circulation was actually almost a fully detailed plan, .... covering at least a full side of double-spaced typing on A4 paper. We talked, ..... and clearly short of decent material from less dyslexic writer types, ... Dave offered Poor Circulation a few pages of their magazine on a monthly basis over the course of the year. Result.

Since that second conversation, things have spiralled almost beyond control. The Riders Digest goes 'National' in April, which perfectly coincides with the departure of Poor Circulation. Interest in the journey is growing from some amazingly diverse areas. So far, we have offers of free accommodation in France, Germany, Spain, Poland, Turkey, Thailand, Canada, Australia and America, ... and all from people that we have never met. It really does restore your faith in human nature, .... and we haven't even turned a wheel yet. In fact, .... I don't even have a 'wheel to turn'. Hell, .... a few more offers of 'Free Stuff' in exchange for some shameless product placement, ... and we'll come home under budget.

This brings me very neatly on to the definition of 'Blagging'. From the informal verb to 'Blag': To obtain something for free or at a reduced cost by stealing or deceit, the art of blagging. 'Stealing' and 'Deceit', both words seem a little on the strong side for what is otherwise a harmless activity, an exercise in the procurement of goods and services from organisations that can afford to absorb the transaction. I prefer to see it as supplying sufficient information to allow any potential provider with the ability to make an informed choice. The information that is used may be the full truth, ..... or it may contain certain 'hypotheticals' that are assumed to have come to fruition, ...... and it could possibly even be a tiny little falsehood. The morality supporting the process of 'Blagging' must always be that there are no real victims, only beneficiaries.

An example might be for the procurement of a free motorbike as in the 'Long Way Round'. If I were more famous or more worthy, I may tell Triumph that I was currently in negotiations with Yamaha regarding the provision of free bikes for Poor Circulation, ..... and I may well inform Yamaha that the same is true with regards to Triumph. When carrying out this approach, it's important to believe fully in what you're saying, .... create the 'Story' and stick to it, you must never stray from the central strap-line or you'll loose confidence and it will unfold before you. Human nature suggests that an opportunity leaving always looks far more inviting than an opportunity approaching, ..... thus hopefully increasing the chances of success.

'Pre-Blagging' might also be employed where an organisation is credited with support far greater than the support that has actually been provided. This approach works on two different levels. Firstly, it shows the organisation that gratitude will always be shown, .... and secondly, ... it can then be used at a later date to pressure competitive organisations into joining the party. Pre-Blagging is like adding fertilizer to the ground ahead of next seasons seeding, ..... it shows no benefit at the time, but the future rewards could be plentiful.

But perhaps the simplest form of 'Blagging' is the direct honest approach, .... I ask for something and they either say 'Yes' or 'No', ..... simple, effective and essential to the success of this adventure. 'Blagging', .... it's not really stealing, it's more like borrowing on a permanent basis in exchange for good will.

www.theridersdigest.co.uk/
www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post: 4 'The New Member'

'Friendship demands the ability to do without' ..... Ralph Waldo Emerson

I first met Alan Kelly back in 2004. Although we were both living in Braintree, we actually met at Santa Pod for the beginning of the Nick Sanders' Moto Challenge GB. We accidentally became team members of ''Hap Hazard" atop an anonymous junction on the M4 along with 2 others, ... Lee Crahart and Mark Wallis. It was a chance meeting of lost and disparate souls that developed into true friendship. For 8 long days, we rode 'Point to Point' against the clock around the British Isles, we raced against others on Hill Climbs and Short Circuits, .... and team Hap Hazard ended the challenge victorious. Well, .... we came home in third place, ..... but it was a moral victory for the team that redefined the term 'Under Dogs'.

There is something inherently good in the hearts of 'Bikers', and for the generosity of Alan Kelly, Mark Wallis and Lee Crahart, I will be eternally grateful, ....... enuf said.

Initially I had planned to use a Yamaha XT600 for Poor Circulation, .... light, simple, reliable .... cheap. However, whilst the XT was ideal for my perfect form, Alan. aka 'Herman freeking Munster', made it look like a Honda Cub. Hey Ho, ..... Alan already owned a Triumph Tiger 955i, all glistening black and shiny new, ...... so it seemed easier for him to use the bike that he fitted rather than trying to shoehorn him onto a moped. And so it was, ....... I needed to lay my grimy mittens on another cheap Triumph, ... and so the Tiger Hunt began. We could have each used a different make of bike, .... but having to carry two sets of spare parts around the world would have been a pain in an already sore arse. Also, ... the fact that it would be a Triumph seemed to fit with the Thomas family tradition, .... and Poor Circulation was afterall, a 'Family' adventure, ... of sorts. The better compromise was for me to ride a Tiger that was too tall, too heavy, too complicated and too expensive, .. but apart form that,.. an ideal choice really.

'Compromise' is a word that we will come to understand over the coming year. To say that Alan and I are different, ... would be the truth. I'll say no more at this point except that the term 'Passport' did not translate easily into his perfect estuary tongue.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post: 3 'Breaking The News'

'Always do what you want, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, .... and those who matter don't mind'. ..... Dr Seuss

To be totally honest, .... there wasn't exactly what you could call a 'Plan' for Poor Circulation, it was really no more substantial than an embryonic idea. An idea that was planted by Ted Simon in the 1970's, lay dormant for years, only to be reignited when I decided that it was time for my very own mid-life crisis. I had watched 'Long Way Round' and have to admit that I was raked with jealousy and envy, but such an adventure on that scale was never on my own personal radar. I picked up a book by Emelio Scotto 'The Longest Ride', a 10 year 500,000 mile motorcycle journey several times around the globe with an initial budget of $300 and no bike. Hell,... by this Argentinian adventurers standards, I was more than half way there, ... I didn't have $300,.. but I did have a bike, ..... even if it wasn't the Bike I needed.

The Internet is an amazing place and I'm sure that too many people spend too much of their short lives living within its ever expanding pages. It is so easy to navigate the world with 'Google Earth', or to follow the adventures of others who are doing it for real through websites such as 'Horizons Unlimited', .. but no matter how wonderful the web might be, ..... it is not a 'Life', .... first, .... second or even third. The Internet has many problems, but one area where it is totally fit for purpose, ..... is in the dissemination of information. In response to an innocent question posted on a Bike related website, ...... I mentioned 'Poor Circulation', ... and from the moment that I hit 'Send', .... my fate was cast.

Over the coming weeks, I worked on developing the 'Plan' and exploring the possibilities of obtaining 'free stuff' and thus reducing the actual amount that it would cost to complete the journey. I began to tell people about Poor Circulation and accidentally, but thankfully,... talked to the 'Can Do' people before the doubting 'Fun Sponges' could soak up my enthusiasm and energy. Those that had open minds wished me well, ..... whilst those that had never been anywhere (and possibly never would) warned me of the obvious dangers of travelling in general and motorcycling adventures in particular. Of course they were right, .. but then as far as I am concerned, ..... life is a disease anyway, .. sexually transmitted and invariably fatal. What you do with the 'bits in the middle' determines what mark you leave behind. OK,.. so my 'Mark' will be more 'Skidmark' than 'Benchmark', ... but none the less, ..... any 'Mark' is better than an 'Ungraded'.

Then, one sunny Saturday lunchtime over Beef and Ale Pie in Essex's finest eatery, The White Hart, Great Saling, Braintree (Shameless Promotion, ... I'm just a total Pie Whore really, .. especially if free), I told a Triumph Tiger riding friend about my plans. A predictable humorous exchange of views took place before achieving the inevitable adventure story conclusion, ..... he wanted to come with me. So that was it, ...... no turning back. Alan Kelly, 'Highways Engineer Extraordinaire' and part time 'Funny Guy' was to double the size of 'Poor Circulation', .... well, at 6'6" he was slightly more than doubling it, ..... but at 20 Stone, .... I was sure as hell not going to 'uninvite him'

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post: 2 'Initial Planning'

'When given the choice between two alternatives, .... always pick the third' .... Patrick Sullivan.

First, .. catch your Tiger. Well actually, first buy a map. To be totally honest, if you draw a line on a map of the world, from London to London, .... it is really quite easy. OK, .... folks keep changing the names of various countries and whilst that is their prerogative, it did make my orignal Readers Digest Atlas look woefully out of date. Incidentally, when did Burma become Myanmar? The plan in short is to leave Darlington on St George's Day, 23rd April 2008, head down through Europe, Croatia and Ukraine into Russia. Depending on 'Visas', drop down into Kazakhstan and Mongolia before rising back into Russia to Irkutsk. That leaves a long ride along uncertain roads across Siberia to either Magadan or Vladivostok in Eastern Russia. Originally Magadan offered the best onward passage to Alaska. Unfortunately, Magadan Airlines have declared bankruptcy and no alternate exit is available. So,... it looks like Vladivostok. I really wanted to go into China. Unfortunately, the Chinese Authorities insist on offering the 'non-optional' support of an 'Official Government Guide' for the duration of your stay. The main downside of that is, ..... Chinese Government Guides do not do 'Rough Camping'. I was asked, ... 'will you be staying in 4 or 5 Star Hotels Sir?' I'm still not sure what the mandarin for 'Bivvi Bag' is, ..... but needless to say, China is no longer a valid option. Hey Ho, ..... I'll save China for my next mid-life crisis. Now,.. from Vladivostok, it looks like the only route out is via Japan or Korea. Having no money, Japan is difficult as they require a dreaded 'Carnet' (Basically an international insurance policy that guarantees to pay the host country a ridiculous amount of money should I decide to sell my bike whilst visiting), so it look likes Korea, ..... but the Southern Part, ...... a lot less nuclear than the North, ... allegedly. Just a thought,... how do I get across the North to enter the South, .... detail detail detail. Oh, .. on the subject of 'carnet', .... that is another reason for avoiding India, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia and Thailand. Well, ..... it's just 'detail', but several war-zones also make a route into India quite interesting, and since beginning the planning stage, Vietnam and Thailand have banned motorbikes above 125cc from entering the country, ... Bugger.
So, .... arriving as if by magic in North America, I'll ride through Canada down 'Route 1' to Booneville, one time resting place of Ted Simon and now home to my elder and wiser brother and his family. Assuming I mange to resist the temptation and comforts of a real bed, I'll continue down Route 1 and into Mexico before running for the east coast and a freight container home.
See,.. not even the mention of a Visa (Other than Russia) and home in time for dinner. Honestly,. if you ignore the detail, it really is quite easy. I do need to get myself a Bike though, ... I suspect that a Yamaha XT600 would be ideal, ...... but I guess that in my parents eyes, only a Triumph would be acceptable.

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas

Post: 1 'In The Begining'

'For every problem there exists a simple and elegant solution .... which is absolutely wrong'. .... J Wagoner

I blame Ted Simon, who back in the 70's, rode his Triumph around the world and wrote about his exploits in his book 'Jupiter's Travels'. I was a teenager at the time, full of piss and vinegar, discovering the general wonders of life and the more specific marvels of girls. I'd already established a love of motorbikes and at the age of 17, given the money and a passport, I would have gladly packed my acne cream and followed Ted Simon's example. Sadly for me, ... the closest I got to mirroring his exploits was buying a Readers Digest World Atlas and continuing my daily commute to college on a Suzuki AP50. Not quite as far, not quite as exciting, .... but the plans for a 'Great Adventure' were begining to form.

Fast Forward some 30 years, and putting my university degree to good use, I was a Despatch Rider in London and working my way towards the 'Million Mile Club'. I was single, too old and broke to race bikes anymore and stuck in a rut so deep that it would take more than your average mid-life crisis to extract me. Perhaps it was karma, .... or maybe the guy in the Ford Focus really was registered blind, but shortly after he had parked his car on my Suzuki Bandit at around the national speed limit, I had my 'Epiphany' moment. I spent several days standing at my computer whilst the embarrassing, yet confidence boosting swelling, subsided. With discomfort keeping me from my more usual Internet interests, I discovered 'Google Earth'. It took me about 4 hours to scroll around the world from London to London, ... simply following roads that seemed to head in an easterly direction. I figured that given a little luck and a lot of blind faith, I could actually ride around the world. I didn't have any money,.... but at the time, my balls were certainly large enough. I just knew that I had to extricate myself from the rut of inactivity, .... and a little adventure was the obvious solution. It would take a lot of planning and a high degree of 'Blagging', but it was more than a possibility. In short, .... I saw it as a series of short journeys carried out day after day until I return to my starting point, not unlike Despatch Riding really. 'How difficult can it be?'.

(And Yes, ... that is me on my Dad's Triumph Thunderbird, circa 1963 .. I've not really changed much. This picture will take on new meaning once I've arrived in Boonville California, the home of my Brother Alan and his family. Unfortunately you'll have to wait until then to find out exactly why.)

www.justgiving.com/geoffgthomas